Worn out shoes.

I can still see the red and yellow of the sun coming through those Sierra Madre Mountains dancing on the horizon, I can still smell de crisp and yet warm and almost spicy air in the early morning, I feel my -back then brand new shoes- soles holding to the ground almost enough to keep me there, with so much strenght, with so much weight, so much mote than the 20 pounds of baby weight i carry. I can hear the turbines accelerating making my pain increase expotentialy with their speed, more than anything I can feel tears on my cheeks and I ignore when they got there, all I know is that my heart is holding on.I am saying good bye. I hate it. I know hate is a very strong word, but I do, I hate it. It never gets easier. They get bigger, sadder and more tearful everytime. Giving hugs to my family and holding them so tight as to make them a part of me, to take some of them with me, to imprint them in my skin so I don's feel them so far away. That is all I can do. That is all I must do. I pray to God to keep everyone in my home safe until I can hold them again.

I do not know why I thought of this today, since it happened in September 2010. Maybe it is the fact that the Holidays are coming and I get more emotional about my family. Today was a very good day, with Kiki's laughter and Josh' smiles and giggles, maybe that is why i miss them because i would like to share these days with them. Maybe because there is not a day I don't miss them. or maybe, just maybe the reason is much simpler. Maybe because my shoes are getting old and I thought about the time when I bought them, to go to Mexico. I am so much simpler than I seem. Today was a very good day, and I thank God for it, and I pray I get to share some days like today with my family in Mexico someday.

My baby is cuter than your baby

I don't know if it is accurate information, but for me is the absolute truth!

Evidence A.

Evidence A.1

Is it just me or they really are adorable?

Halloween

Si hay algo que me encanta de tener una familia "mixta" es incrementar las tradiciones que se celebran en esta casita. Tenemos Santa Claus y Reyes Magos, Conejo de Pascua y la Cuaresma, Dia de Accion de gracias, Viernes Negro (que es uno de mis favoritos y se acerca !!!), tenemos dia de muertos y Halloween. Si bien tiene raices paganas, nosotros lo enfocamos a lo que en realidad se ha convertido, y al que con toda la sabiduria de su edad mi hija ha renombrado a "Feliz dia del Candy". Asi que el pasado 31 de octubre nos dirigimos por las calles a pedir "Tick'o'teat" como decia mi Kiki, sobra decir que mis babies eran los mas lindos de todo el vecindario, -al menos en mi muy humilde opinion-. Pero para mostrar algo en lo que baso mi opinion, aqui esta una muestrita

Ignorancia/ Ignorance

Como reaccionas ante comentarios racistas e ignorantes? Los ignoras? Tratas de convencer a la otra persona de su falta de conocimiento acerca del asunto? Mi reaccion es algo con lo que lucho bastante. No pasa muy a menudo, pero cunado sucede mi SANGRE ORGULLOSAMENTE MEXICANA hierve dentro de mi. Tratar de mantener mi reaccion en la proporcio y enojo adecuado es un reto. No se si reaccionar del todo tenga algun impacto, tal vez evadir el asunto es la mejor estrategia. Tu que opinas?
How do you react to ignorant and racist comments??? Do you ignore them? Do you try to convince the other person of their lack of knowledge about the issue? I know i struggle with my reaction to out of place comments. It doesn't happen very often but when it does, it makes my VERY PROUDLY MEXICAN blood boil inside me. Trying to keep my reaction in the correct proportion and limited anger is definitely a challenge. I do not know if reacting at all will make a difference, maybe avoiding conflict and acting like the bigger person is the right answer. What do you think???

Reto Linguistico

Cuano Kiara tenia a penas 11 meses, comenze a leer bastante acerca de estimulacion linguistica bilingue, queria que Kiara aprendiera los dos idiomas y los manejara sin ningun problema, todo me indicaba que no existian obstaculos mayores en cuanto al desarrollo de su lenguaje.
Un mes despues en su chequeo anual, el doctor me advirtio que dada la naturaleza bilingue de nuestro hogar, Kiara tardaria un poco mas en empezar a tener "conversaciones" de mas de un par de silabas -perfecto, pense, mas tiempo de calma y paz-. Unos meses despues alguien me pregunto si Kiara ya sabia sus ABC's -ya sabes, ese tono condescendiente de mi hijo es mejor que el tuyo- asi que comence a "empujar" a Kiki a hablar. MALA DECISION. MUY MALA.
No es que no me encante escuchar su tierna vocecita cuando dice "Mami CESA" (Mami es princesa) o "Men Joshy Kiki" (Ven Joshy con Kiki). Me siento orgullosa de saber que maneje ingles y espanol sin ninguna restriccion. Pero, cuando habla, habla, y no siempre se le alcanza a distinguir lo que dice, y es persistente mas alla de explicacion. Solo ayer mientras regresabamos de Target nuestra conversacion fue algo asi:
Kiki: Mama, mami, mama, mami, mama, mamaaaaa!
Yo: Si Kiki?
Kiki: Kiki pshhh pshh pum pumm Tito, Joshy, Mami, Daddy!
Yo: ok honey. (traduccion: Yo quiero ir a ver fuegos artificiales con Tito ( mi papa), Joshy, Mami y Daddy!)
Kiki: mama, mama, mama, mama
Yo: Kiki, no hay fuegos artificiales esta noche y Tito esta en Mexico, asi que no podemos ir hasta que el regrese, ok? Ve tu pelicula -tiene DVD en la van-.
Kiki: Mama, mama, mama, mama....
Yo: Kiki por favor ve tu pelicula mama quiere platicar con daddy -para este punto ya decidi ignorarla y no me juzguen por mis habilidades parentales por favor, juro que soy buena madre.
Kiki: mami, maaama, mama, mami, mama, mami, mama, mami, mami, mama, mama, mama, mami, mamam, mami, maaaami, mami, mami, mamiiiii, mama, mami, maaamaaaaaa..................59 veces mas................................maaaaaaami!
No hay voluntad que le gane, no hay razon que la haga girar su direccion no hay excusa que la quite de su meta, no cabe duda que es mi hija!

Supermatt

There has been a lot of talk about super heroes on facebook from local people, and i want to add to the conversation explaining a little about my personal superheroe. SUPERMATT. And since his birthday was a couple days ago (and i forget very quickly) it seems very suitable.
He is a very generous, kind hearted, geniunly and selfless giver. He inspires me and our little family to be better and closer to each other everyday. He can fix ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING, there is not a single thing my superhero can not figure out, he will learn and research about anything until he know exactly how to do it.
He is so amazingly strong! he has the power to knock down walls like they are paper! he can lift the world with just one arm (or at least he lifts my world).
He is a wonderful father and a great husband. He is my hero, my meano, mi amor.
I love you Supermatt!

Baby Fever

Hace un par de dias lleve a Kiara al hospital pediatrico de Albany....PELIGRO......Me enamore de una pequenita de a penas 3 semanas, unas manititas y unos piecitos tan chiquitos, tan lindo! tan chiquitita comprada con mi Joshua de 19 libras y 7 meses! y aunque me digan loca, SI! cruzo por mi mente la idea de otro bebe! Culpo a mi doctor que me dijo "tu estas hecha para tener bebes".
Asi que por lo pronto voy a acosar a mi Joshy, abrazandolo y besandolo y disfrutando de que todavia tiene olor de bebe, aunque ya no sea tan chiquititito es mi bebe aun!
Tal vez tenga que comprar un cachorrito la proxima primavera.