Worn out shoes.

I can still see the red and yellow of the sun coming through those Sierra Madre Mountains dancing on the horizon, I can still smell de crisp and yet warm and almost spicy air in the early morning, I feel my -back then brand new shoes- soles holding to the ground almost enough to keep me there, with so much strenght, with so much weight, so much mote than the 20 pounds of baby weight i carry. I can hear the turbines accelerating making my pain increase expotentialy with their speed, more than anything I can feel tears on my cheeks and I ignore when they got there, all I know is that my heart is holding on.I am saying good bye. I hate it. I know hate is a very strong word, but I do, I hate it. It never gets easier. They get bigger, sadder and more tearful everytime. Giving hugs to my family and holding them so tight as to make them a part of me, to take some of them with me, to imprint them in my skin so I don's feel them so far away. That is all I can do. That is all I must do. I pray to God to keep everyone in my home safe until I can hold them again.

I do not know why I thought of this today, since it happened in September 2010. Maybe it is the fact that the Holidays are coming and I get more emotional about my family. Today was a very good day, with Kiki's laughter and Josh' smiles and giggles, maybe that is why i miss them because i would like to share these days with them. Maybe because there is not a day I don't miss them. or maybe, just maybe the reason is much simpler. Maybe because my shoes are getting old and I thought about the time when I bought them, to go to Mexico. I am so much simpler than I seem. Today was a very good day, and I thank God for it, and I pray I get to share some days like today with my family in Mexico someday.